It's Been A While

I found myself dreaming of you. I have to say that is has been a while since it happened last. I once again saw the face that at one point gave me peace.

I don't recall the place we were at but you were there with her. I walked by and you followed me into the bathroom. It was as if nothing had changed at all. The typical questions: how are you? How are the parents? Things of that sort. Then your girl walked in and asked you what were you doing. Funny thing is that you said I'm fixing this light. She walks out brings with her an older lady that I do not know. She says something that I could not hear, turns around and walks away. As she does this you follow but before you leave you kiss me and say "It's always been you." End of dream. I wake at 4:17am and I no longer am able to sleep. It leaves me thinking of you, again it's been awhile. With only the memories and dreams to remember you by. Until we meet again.

Twisted Memories

At one point in my life I can honestly say that it hurted me to see it but now I just laugh. Maybe I'm still mad but hurt is something I don't feel anymore. I won't lie I still think about the times we shared but just like everything else in life.... You can not change the past. That's why they're called memories. Thank You for the ones you left behind with me.

& The Tears Fell

I thought I had this feelings in order and in control but then something happened that I wasnt expecting.I only saw you as the person I could count on to put a smile on my face regardless of what I was going through,you were someone I thought would never bring tears to my eyes and unknowingly you did,maybe not on purpose but you hurt me in a way that I cant explain.I havent felt that way since the very first time someone broke my heart.I look at your picture and I see you differently and thats what hurts the most,you are now one of the many people that has hurt me.I really wish I could take that day back and go on as if everything was fine just like before where everything familiar reminded me of you.I hope that when Im able to see you again Ill be able to see you the same way and smile and think of the good times I shared with you, but if I dont then Ill just leave you with a smile and walk away knowing that I wasnt as important to you as you were to me.It hurts to know that your happy without me and even more that I know I dont cross your mind anymore.From the bottom of my heart I wish you the very best and I really hope to see you again soon.

New Year,New Outlook

Happy New Years folks!!! yeah I know its a little late but hey be happy no bullshit this year.Hope everyone had a good one,I did for once in my drinking lifetime I didnt drink!! YAY me!! well I had 1 beer yes 1 beer oh and a glass of champagne with the grapes you know.I have to say that I actually had a good time I was looking fly wearing a dress and I finally got to wear my 5 inch heels,they were all glittery and it was an epic fail!!!! I almost feel 3 times,I was walking soooooo damn slow it wasnt even funny but I looked damn good in them and yes beauty hurts!!!!!Kids had a hell of a ggod time popping fireworks since for 4th of july we had that stupid band.2011 was such a shitty year and you guys know it cause of course you read my crazy posts.2012 started really good no hangover and we also came home which was another 1st for us,were mid week and still its going good.I actually think that maybe this year will be the year for us.I hope so atleast.New Years is also the birthday of one of my bonus babies and we all got to talk to him which made me very happy since the Baby Mama is fucking crazy and never and I do mean NEVER lets us see them or even talk to them on the phone.I wont give her that much importance right now since I do have a post planned for her and the ugly fat bitch that fucked around with my husband a few years back and I will make sure they read it and when they do shit will hit the fan!!!!!! Anyway my post will change into a different language right now so get out your google translator.
No se porque pero toda la noche estuve pensando en ti,como quisera verte para saber de ti.No se si tu piensas en mi como yo a ti pero lo unico que puedo decirte es que te extrano.Este ano te deseo lo mejor que sigas logrando todo de lo que puedes acer.Hasta pronto :)
Okay well thats it for now and I hope you guys have a kick ass 2012!!
Love ya Bunches :)

Do You See Me

Lately I ve wondered what your doing,how youre feeling.Yet I have no courage to actually go see these things for myself.Has anything changed from the last encounter?A smile was all it ever took and these days a smile is all I need.Do I ever cross your mind or am I a reflection of your past.Have you shed tears over something I dont know about and probably never will,there's this constant reminder of what you left behind and frankly I'm not gonna lie I ve tried to forget about it all and the outcome is always the same.A simple sight of different objects always brings it back and for that instance that smile I know I needed is put on my face.If you ever come across this blog you'll know which ones are for you.I go to all the familiar places we've encountered,I sit and reflect on the times when it seemed easier when in fact it was actually harder. Patiently I wait for a moment that may never come but to me the word never is something I can look forward too.

Drake - Marvins Room [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Random

If you miss me, you can’t text, you can’t email, you can’t post it on my Facebook wall. If you really miss me, you come and see me.

From A Table Away

So I guess that means that things are better
Must not be so bad at home
I thought it looked like you were leavin'
But it don't
And I hearrd you tell her you still love her
So it doesnt matter what you say
I saw it all,from a table away.




I love this song!!!!

2011

Since I got home this morning at 3am and left on the 31st,this post is my 1-1-2011.

Happy New Year everybody!

Next- I want this part to be just for you Benny,Happy Birthday(1-1)I know your dad was able to speak to you on your day and I was lookimng forward to talk to you too but again it didn't happen.This is what I wanted to say...
happy birthday Benny,we miss you and love you alot,I really wish you were here with us and I know for a fact you would've loved to be with us cause your just like your dad always smiling and laughing and I miss seeing that in you.I hope your doing good in school cause if your not you know I will make you do work on your vacation time cause we've done it before :)tell damion we miss him too and don't ever forget we love you both !!! That's all that I wanted to say to you on this day. love you !!

Now- for some reason at the stroke of 12am,as I was calling everybody and they momma to wish them a happy new year only one thing kept popping in my head,one name,one smile,one look.It was you :) and as bad as I wanted to call you and hear your voice for some reason I just knew you were feeling the same way,I hope !!!! Happy New Year ;)

Then-we continued to have sooo much fun I don't think Ive drank that many different liquids a once,Hennesy,Nuvo,Bacardi both clear and gold,and champagne.I was totally wasted and Im kinda scared of what pictures I will be tagged in on FB from 3 different folks!!!!!!but It was a hell of a night.

so now I'm at home sober ass hell and catching up on my household duties.

Happy 2011 !!!!!

Lately

Its been a while,
Everyday that goes by seems that it just might be ok and the thing I hate the most is when I least expect it YOU..seem to be around in music,in vehicles,in certain smells,when I see a smile similar to yours.Even though it puts a big smile on my face,I know its just not right.I miss you and only I know how i can cope with this but i was only left with memories that i will never forget,I'm glad I have them.
Just needed to get that off my chest.

Anyways
I haven't blogged like I just too but DAMN I seem to be very busy now a days even with the kiddos being in school longer????? I know !!!But I guess its a good thing and I'm ok with it.I'm liking the outcome of this change!I love the way I feel when I look around and feel satisfied with what Ive done,entire family seems more happier and I couldn't ask for a better thing in life right now! I wish we were closer to certain family members but this is the reason I have always wanted to be so far away..there is noone around to throw their drama around!!!My next move will be even further but that might just take a few years ,I gotta let the kiddos grow up in one place.I miss everyone who is not here and wish we could be closer but life is a tricky thing you know!!I may be getting off topic so I will stop now before my "ADD" kicks in!!
Love to all my Blogger Friends !!!!

Yo quiero saber de ti

Yo quiero saber de ti
Por que ya hace mucho tiempo
De que sucedio el momento
Que me burlara de ti

Yo quiero saber de ti
Por que todavia me acuerdo
De aquel daño tan inmenso
Que te hiciera aquella tarde
Cuando yo te conoci

Yo quiero saber de ti
No vaya a ser que algun dia
Pudiera perder la vida
Y que no te vuelva a ver
No te dejo de querer
Tu debes de comprender
Que kiero volver, volver

Yo quiero saber de ti
Saber como la has pasado
Cuando te habran humillado
Si te han hecho sufrir

Yo quiero saber de ti
Pa´que recordemos juntos
Esos que dices minutos
De hace apenas unos meses
Yo pasará junto a ti

Yo quiero saber de ti
No vaya a ser que algun dia
Pudiera perder la vida
Y que no te vuelva a ver
No te dejo de querer
Tu debes de comprender
Que quiero volverte a ver


Kinda what Im feeling!!

Patience

I thought i knew what i was supposed to do,but i don't. i've come to realise that all i have to do is wait and hope for the best. why is that so much more easier said then done? i want to be the person i really am and not what others want me to be.i want to do as i please and not worry what others think,say exactly what's on my mind and not care.i don't know what else i'm suppose to be doing ????? but i do know this.......FUCK YOU if you don't like what you see!!!!!!this is me,an i'm trying my best to do as much as i can.you can't change a person unless they change themselves first. “And this bird you can not change” it is what it is . patience is the game i'm playing but how much longer must it be before i find out if i'm winning or if i'm losing ?

Dreams

Oh shit, she passed me on the boulevard

Ay, tell me is it stalking if I follow her all the way home without her knowing

Nah, nigga, I’m just curious where she stay at

Besides when I’m with her, this gon’ be the spot we lay at

And maybe I’ll just drive by occasionally

And if one day I happen to see her outside, she wave at me,

Imagine what she’ll say to me, this ain’t no time to be afraid no more

It’s time for bravery

No matter if my homies think I’m crazy,



Okay, you say you got a man, I mean, I definitely understand,

I’m happy for you, really am, I couldn’t of been the only fan

In the world Of a girl like you

I mean, you’re beautiful, and I’m sure he’s a very nice dude

It ain’t no biggie, well I’m sure that I’m gon’ see you around the city

Only thing I ask if shit don’t work out for y’all, then don’t forget me

And don’t act like a stranger when you see me on the scene

I Fuckin' love this song!!!!!!