Follow Your Dreams or Follow Your Heart

Life

It's my birthday !!! The big 28 !! Looking forward to what lies ahead.

Crazy

All I can say is.....
I'm fucking with crazy, and crazy is something I'm enjoying.

You Wanna Be My Friend....

I have the biggest smile on my face right now !!!!!! I know for a fact that some people come into your life for different reasons. Some stay a long time. Some stay for a little bit. Some do good and some do bad. I'd like to think of myself as one of those that come into your life to stay and make you feel like together we could do anything. Today I received a friend request from a little boy who I hold very close to my heart. I am nothing to this child. I am not his mother. I am not his aunt. I am nothing to him but a woman who shared many years with his father and yet he requested me!(Facebook)It makes me feel extremely happy with what I have done in my lifetime. To make a difference in someone elses child. I had the privilege to see him in diapers still drinking from a bottle. To see him grow through out the years, not as much as I'd like too but just enough memories that hold special feelings within my heart. I was one of those step moms that understood that these kiddos(2 extra boys) were in my partners life before I came in it. Children are innocent. They should NEVER be held accountable for their parents mistakes. I was and am woman enough to accept and be willing to open up My heart to children that I didn't have. I was woman enough to say, yes they are my kids when being asked Are they all yours? I was woman enough to take the heartache of when my bonus babies weren't allowed to visit. I was woman enough, and because of my actions I still have 1out of 2 of my bonus babies. There aren't enough words to write down on how happy I am. I know I am nothing but the mom of your half brothers but I know you know that I love you guys as if you were mine.

She's A Homewrecker

Busy Little Bee

You know for acting all high and mighty you're still just a simple bitch. What I do with my free time has Nothing to do with you. I am a stay at home mom. I do manage to wake up to cook breakfast for my children. I do manage to cook lunch and dinner for everyone in this household. I also have time to clean atleast 2/3 times each day everyday. I also have time to browse facebook,twitter and all that the internet offers. So tell me again how a "busy" working woman with a job from 8-5 with 2 daughters has time from her schedule to search for and read my blog!?!?!? What is it about my blog that's so intriguing? Is it that I'm putting your business out there for everyone to read? Sweetie go back to your "busy" lifestyle and stop looking into mine. Oh by the way you'll love these.....

Diary of a Whore

Im going to keep putting you on blast sweetie.

Soon Enough

You know with everyone else you can play the innocent bitch but not with me.I saw it the very first time I saw your ugly face.I am the one person who can always see through bullshit it just depends if Im willing to put up with it or not.I can very well put you on blast and please believe when I say baby girl your pushing my buttons.Then I think with my stupid piece of shit kind heart that I have and say to myself"I wouldnt want my picture all over the web in a compromising pose" but then again Im not and will not ever be the OTHER WOMAN to a married man.That right there is the difference between your skank ass and my semi decent ass.Though I know exactly where this is going,Im aware that thinking that the right thing to do was trying to fix my wrongs and my family/marriage Ive come to a sudden stop because Im the only one in my partnership trying to fix it.I know that you BOTH sit and laugh at me but when you laugh to early youll only end up crying ten times worse.I still havent even came close to showing you what I can do but soon enough...soon enough.

Sudden Changes

Funny how my attitude changes as soon as I look through different images of you. I go from smiling ear to ear, then it all goes away. Everything changes so quickly and so suddenly that I'm stuck with the realization of what it is and what it was.

Twisted Memories

At one point in my life I can honestly say that it hurted me to see it but now I just laugh. Maybe I'm still mad but hurt is something I don't feel anymore. I won't lie I still think about the times we shared but just like everything else in life.... You can not change the past. That's why they're called memories. Thank You for the ones you left behind with me.

Today 2/27

Today is one of the most difficult of days that I've yet to endure. Today is the day I got married. This is for you....
To My Husband,
If there ever comes a day when you wake up and no longer love me, please let me be the first to know this. I've loved you like I've never loved before. The first man to show me so many different things,so many memories and most importantly the man that I created children with. For I know that we are far from perfect, but our love is true. When I said I do, I said it with love knowing that I would share the rest of my life with you. Life has a funny way of testing everyone in its own way and I believe that we have passed many tests before. The test we're taking now, I didn't study for it. I dont want to fail but if by failing this test will I be prepared for the next one? I hope that the future tests I have to take involve you but I'd truly understand if they don't. I know that I've caused a lot of pain to both you and I but I'm willing to make up for it. I wish that today would just stay in place for some time but it can't. There isn't enough money in the world to buy me what I want the most. I'm sorry.
Your Wife.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

It's You

How do you accept defeat when defeat isn't really there, or is it make belief. Mind blowing questions come with life changing answers. Will I follow the voice inside even if it steers me wrong. I want to start a new phase in my life but with this phase I need You. Forgive and forget and don't regret.

Logic

Love makes you do foolish things
But in the end will I look like a fool.
Courage and passion seem alive
Yet death reeks all around.
Patience is a virtue that some have
While others have none.
How do you fix something broken
When all the pieces seem lost.
Who do you follow
Your Logic.....or your Heart
When its all said and done
Ill Always Come Back To You.

I Come Before You

Lost in pensive thoughts lately.

Battle Hard

I had an eye opener lastnight.I can't believe I was thinking of second/third/fourth chances.Then I saw a picture of the two of you.I laughed at first then I wanted to cry and literally kept telling myself that I should not cry. First off I know that while I was at home and not going out because I still respect the word marriage,you apparently didn't give a fuck about it. What pissed me off was that you are NOT taking care of my children the way you should be. You don't get to them until 8pm, you don't know if they're hungry,if they're sad,all you do is leave to work fuck around with your co worker bitch and then go home to sleep. I have always thought our kids came first but with a new bitch taking up your time I see different. You were to bring them to me this wknd but because you're scared that they'll tell me you have a girlfriend you didn't bring them. I've always told you I'm Always two steps ahead of you on everything. I will tell you this DON'T BEAT HER FACE IN the way you did with me. I WILL give you your freedom to be with whoever you want to be with but with that freedom you want so bad I will also take no better yet RIP YOUR HEART OUT. Be ready for the fight of your life.

Lyrics

Because sometimes music lyrics speak for what youre feeling.


I admit that you almost had me
I admit I was almost crazy
Had me thinking 'bout calling that bitch that night and let her know where she can come and meet me
But it's cool i'mma be a lady
She think she cute but she don't phase me
Can't say I'm not hurt
I'd be damned if I'm broken
What we had is now hers
Let her know she can have it


And I admit that I thought about creeping
So you could get a dose of how I feel
Cause our hearts can never seem to break even
But what's the use I rather pack it up and leave
Cause here we are again, cause you're wrong again
You're trying to tell me that you love me
But your actions say another thing


LET HER KNOW THAT SHE CAN HAVE IT.
FUCK YOU AND THAT BITCH.
NO ONE WILL EVER COMPARE TO ME
BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT DONT YOU.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZcjylFE73M

Think About It

As I sit here and ask myself why I see that word means nothing to you.Soon enough though, you'll be sitting and asking yourself the same question. WHY.

Closed Doors

I See You

Funny how at one point you thought you knew certain people but turned out you never really knew them at all. Funny how you once smiled and laughed with me and now you talk about me. Funny how you only wanted to be in my life only to judge me. Funny how now I really see you and now I'm the one laughing because I now see the truth. Only difference is that I did want y'all in my life now I'm glad I was able to see you for who you really are.

Different Plans

Well my plans have changed,I am now moving back to Houston.I really don't want to move back but I am not able to find a reliable sitter for my boys here.Talked to my mother and of course she said it was fine to move back in to her house,though I know that's gonna suck major ass I gotta do it.I am beyond stressed I wake up tired,go to sleep tired,I gotta wake my boys up at 6am to make sure they aren't late to school because they attend school close by my job which is a 45 min drive from my sister house.I know that going back will be hard but its the only thing I can do right now.I will continue to work I have already talked to my agent(staffing) and I have a job waiting for me when I get there.The city of Austin has been nothing but good to me and I will miss it dearly but I have to do whats best for my boys and I.I also know that I wont be bothered by the ex cause he has since moved to San Antonio,that puts a distance between us on the other hand though it ll be a little tough to see my other boys more often but they know that I love them very much.One thing I do want to see happen is that I don't have to stay that long at mothers house cause that's bound to cause me some stress but hey for now my main focus is getting to work and taking good care of my babies.