Today 2/27

Today is one of the most difficult of days that I've yet to endure. Today is the day I got married. This is for you....
To My Husband,
If there ever comes a day when you wake up and no longer love me, please let me be the first to know this. I've loved you like I've never loved before. The first man to show me so many different things,so many memories and most importantly the man that I created children with. For I know that we are far from perfect, but our love is true. When I said I do, I said it with love knowing that I would share the rest of my life with you. Life has a funny way of testing everyone in its own way and I believe that we have passed many tests before. The test we're taking now, I didn't study for it. I dont want to fail but if by failing this test will I be prepared for the next one? I hope that the future tests I have to take involve you but I'd truly understand if they don't. I know that I've caused a lot of pain to both you and I but I'm willing to make up for it. I wish that today would just stay in place for some time but it can't. There isn't enough money in the world to buy me what I want the most. I'm sorry.
Your Wife.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Pain & Pleasure

I hope no better yet I know you'll read this.I need and want yall to know this. Everything that Ive done in my life hasnt had any meaning until I became a mother,a mother to not only 1 but 4 boys who I would give up my life for.You have no fucking idea how I feel and if you really knew me you'd know that as every day passes me by Im slowly falling apart.If I left them I left them  because as a father to my children I have NO complaints what so ever,if he was good at anything in his fucked up life it was being a father.If I dont have themwith me at this very second its because Im building up what Ive lost for so many years.I want and I know I will have them with me even if that means making sure that none of yall see them.(Hurry print this out and hand it to the lawyer)I hope my pain brings you pleasure.I do though want to ask you something,Did you ever see me when my entire face was bruised and I had a black eye for about a month and a half?Did you ever notice the scars I carry with me everyday?Did you ever help me clean up my own blood? Did you ever help me walk when I couldnt because 2 10 lbs weight were thrown at me? Did you ever help me rub my back when it was full of bruises? Did you ever notice why I ALWAYS wore shirts that were 2 sizes too big for me? Did you know that it started when I was 16 years old and under your roof? Did you ever hear me cry out for help?Did you fucking ever wonder why?I always ask my self why,why is he doing this,why is he hurting me,why is so controlling. I still dont have an answer.There are days that the only things I can think about is all the fucking memories of pain he instilled in me.How does a man do this to someone who was BEYOND LOYAL to him? I stood next to him when he had nothing,when he had to steal,when he had to deal drugs,when he couldnt even put food on our table to eat and even after all that he still put his hands on me.I didnt deserve any of it.No one ever does. If and when you read this I know that now the things that YOU think Ive suffered are more than what you can handle.This is just some MINOR details that I bring up,you havent had the full story yet.I afraid of what youll think of both him and I if you really knew the entire story.So much pain is inside of me and theres not enough time for me to be able to fully tell my story.I miss those boys very much,you have no idea.I will tell you this though even after all this pain my pleasure will come when I have all 4 of them in my arms again.

Sunday Morning

Like any other weekend this story would be the same drinking and hangovers but this one was waaayyy different!!!! As I know alot of you watched the Mayweather Vs Ortiz boxing match and I know alot of people may have been surprised by the outcome of it..what a sucker punch on Mayweather's part but let me not get into that subject cause it really gets me mad! Anyway come to Sunday morning 8am to be exact I woke up and was looking for something to drink looked in the fridge and I had left a 2liter club soda in the freezer and it was frozen solid...I really dont know what I was thinking when I grabbed it turned the cold water on and yes people I put the bottle under running water and guess what the hell happened next.....that damn thing BURST right in my hands!!!!!! at first I didnt notice anything until I wanted to start to sweep my living room my hands were hurting to the point that I couldnt have my hands around the broom,I look at then and they're all messed up.my left hand has a bruise all over it,my middle finger was cut and it fucking hurts like hell.My right hand is even worse I cant close my hands to even make a fist,my middle finger's nail is turning purple and it may fall off! :( my ring finger is all bruised up the same with this hand hurts really bad.Last night I couldnt sleep cause I was in pain I even started crying!! even as in typing it hurts I cant open a packet of seasoning,cant hold things for too long,cant even pour myself a drink and even driving the kiddos to school this morning was hard!!! Im not much of a whiner but this is too much I cant do shit!!!! other than that we had a good weekend finished with a bbq with family.So overall it was good except for my sunday morning.

Love you guys and I hope yall have a wonderful work week ahead of you.
XOXO