You reap what you sow. That's what they say. Karma can be a bitch. Everyday the world turns and for some it can turn out to be good for others bad. This may be your karma. You decided to spend my first born sons birthday with your mistress. I didn't even get to see him until 3 days later. This year you won't be able to spend the boys birthdays with them because they'll be with me. The only difference is that I don't have anyone who will be taking your place. It's sad that things didn't work out. You haven't grown up. You still haven't filled yourself with the temptations that the world has. I just want you to remember one thing. All these women want you because your name comes with a title. That title comes with money. What they don't know is the struggle WE had to endure while getting to the top. They weren't there to fill out every single application. They weren't there when you needed help to pass every drug test. They weren't there when you needed help completing every work order. They weren't they when you wanted and needed to pass your test to become the ac tech you are today. They weren't there waiting for you to be released from jail over and over again. They weren't there when your ex was being difficult. THEY WEREN'T THERE. I WAS. I was there for all of it. I was there when it was hard for us to even keep our utilities on. I always knew that you were worth the wait because I believed in you. I knew that no matter what life threw at us the end result would be great. Now that you have everything, it shows. That's why these women want you. They want the name and status you come with. No matter what you tell them about me, like all the times I left. The times I didn't do the things I was supposed to do. How I apparently cheated. How I lied. How I didn't clean. Just remember to tell them that because of ME you are the man they see today. Because no matter how many other names you tattoo on your body my name will always remain above your heart because that's exactly where I belong. 12 years I gave you. And even that wasn't enough for you. I will always love you more than you'll ever know. And I truly want nothing but the best for you.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Everything Changes
Today was one of those days that would eventually turn into a do nothing mentality but I decided that I needed to do this not for myself but for the 4 boys that I finally have with me. I got my stuff together and hit the streets hard. I accomplished everything on my to do list. The things I thoughts I wasn't going to do, I did them. I looked at your picture today and asked my self why? Why didn't it work out? Why did I even think that what we had was much stronger than any outside intruder? One thing did come to mind right away. Even though I know my road will be rocky, I know that my boys will be holding my hands as we walk this path and we will be okay. I truly miss going to sleep next to you. I miss waking up to you and walking you out the door. I miss hearing the babies ask if daddys going to work. I miss that. What I don't miss is the lying. The women around you. The late hours you would come home. The smell of alcohol on you. I am actually at peace with what's going on. My main focus is on how I can show and teach these boys how to become great men. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for out there.
Carol 8/12/13
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Follow Your Heart
By all means do what your heart.tells you. Yes I left "The door open for another woman to walk in." like you both like to say. What I didn't think was that you were going to disrespect the fact that you were still a married man. You disrespected the vows we made on February 27. You think you have yourself a winner.... boy she has you fooled. A real woman who ends up knowing that the man she is attracted to is still married and has small children should have enough respect for herself to know that if one day she were to be in that position she wouldn't want another woman interfering in her marriage. A real woman would say if it's meant to be we'll be together someday and I will not be the cause of a family separation. A real woman would atleast have the decency to talk with the wife and explain her side if the story. A real woman would not bash on the wives mistakes. A real woman would simply wait to see how this "love" turns out. A real woman would never ever be the other woman. You know my only therapy is writing, I do it better than speaking itself. I do believe that everything happens for a reason and that no matter what happens with God and the power of prayer things can get better. I don't attend church. I don't read the Bible. I have committed a ton of sins but even I know that somethings are just plain wrong. I wanted my first marriage to be my only marriage. I didn't and still don't believe in divorce but you two have taught me that a whole different side of the human race. My heart goes with you even though my heart is probably just sitting in your junk drawer. You gave me something that I am eternally grateful for... My Children. You were my first everything. I wish you well with whatever new journey lies ahead. When it's all said and done,you'll think of me.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Currently Reading
I've had this book for some time now and the only reason why I decided to go ahead and read it was to make comparisons with the movie. Which happens to be one of my favorites. I just love Pennywise The Clown !!! I like his style. Fool them with kindness type of deal... Right ?? I've been neglecting my passion for reading and now I'm gonna start all over again reviewing books.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Blogger
Love,
Carol