Truth Is....

It may come easy to you, but when your dealing with a person like myself it doesn't came as easy to me.When I hurt I don't show it,when I'm sad I don't and wont let you know.I want to cry every single day that passes by but I CANT !!!!! It wont do any good.I'm more of a drink my pain away or better yet smile in photographs just to make you think everything is ok.Deep down inside this tough exterior that I put up is a girl with many doubts and so much pain that not even you would be able to handle. I'm just as human as you are,maybe even a little weaker.Though I regret nothing I do in fact reminisce of the good that came, and with that being said....I leave wanting you to ask me for more.

Lies & Deception

I tell you this week is not even over and it has been sooo shitty!!! Big Black is not fucking working,she's my burban!!! now I gotta walk everywhere I need to go,good thing is school is a block away and I need the excersise.I really hope 2012 is way better than this year it fucking sucked balls!!!!!! Ive still been looking for work but no luck.Monday was even worse,I mean I understand that sometime people have to lie in order to NOT hurt the people around them but to lie and shut the door in your face is something totally different.I know that lies can hurt and even destroy the things around you but shit really how do you tell four different lies in one conversation,then to think that this particular person was the only one we could see and trust the way we did...a fucking shame.but its okay as I blog about all my troubles I know there are some stupid fucking air headed people who will use this to their advantage and go run their fucking piece of shit ass mouth and sweety go ahead what more can you do to me????? Im used to not having anyone I can trust,Im used to not having family who I can turn too,used to always being the subject in someones conversation and you know what Im still standing and Im still doing all the things I want and can do.I hate not being able to express myself only because I always think about the other people around me and the stupid "what if" I hurt them bullshit.and that my friends is why I blog to express my hurt and disappointment,my thoughts and if this is the only way to do it then so be it.I know I need just a little bit of faith to overcome some of these things but it gets hard really hard for me at times.Oh and I forgot to mention that I deleted my facebook because that too was a way for you bitches to keep tabs on me,FUCK YOU !!!!!! and may you whores keep doing what you do best....Being Sluts,Bitches & Skanks.
Okay I feel better now and to the people who do wish to see me succeed, Thank You.