Armor

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isnt it? It makes you so vulnerable.It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess it up.You build up all these defenses,you build up a whole suit of armor,so that nothing can hurt you,then one stupid person,no different from any other stupid person,wanders into your life...You give them a piece of you.They didnt ask for it.They did something one day , like kiss you or smile at yo, and then your life isnt your own anymore.Love takes hostages.It gets inside of you.It eats you alive.It can leave you crying in the dark.It turns into a splinter that works its way deep into your heart.It hurts,not only in the mind.Its a hurt that hurts the deepest part of your soul.It gives you that rip your heart out pain. I hate love.

Live & Learn

A wise woman once told me a very long time ago that in life there will be 3 important peolple who will leave you with some of the greatest life lesson ever in the history of mankind.I was very young and un experienced when this was being said to me.Now as an adult maybe I should of payed more attention.Her advice was as followed The 1st person will be the one you will Love like there is no tomorrow. Number 2 will be the one that got away. Number 3 will be the one who will break your heart in a way you thought was impossible. All 3 will leave you with a life lesson that will eventually help you in the long run.They will set the standards not only for the next person to enter your life but for yourself as well. Damn was she right!!!

Hour After Hour

Thank You

Where Does One Go

When you're in love......

Follow Your Dreams or Follow Your Heart

Suddenly

Every Time

Advice

Rose Colored Lenses

I love you. I really do but things will Never be the same. Not only did I live a fucking lie thinking that the man I loved so much could change his ways. I had to deal with not only one but two females while we were together and under the same roof. One Bitch didn't care that she was the other woman,she was actually proud. The other broad tried to play the I would never do that.card with me. Now I have 2 women pregnant by my husband. I feel so fucking stupid. Both pregnancies happened while we were living together. You're a real piece of work. I wish I could go back and change many things about our relationship but I can't. I now see you for what you really are. You're a fucking liar,a cheater,a woman beater and I am beyond thankful that I found this out while I was away. My feelings for you will always remain the same, after all I did spend 13 years with you and you gave me 4 amazing boys. But I no longer see through rose colored lenses. When I talk to you it's completely different now,I talk to a person I once knew. Im sorry for anytime that I made you cry. Just remember though the tears I shed were way stronger and deeper than anything that will ever come from you. 

Life

It's my birthday !!! The big 28 !! Looking forward to what lies ahead.

My World

Greener Grass

Feelings. Why must one have them? At times I think I'd be better off without them. Not only do I have the no hate gene in my body but I'm also equipped with the forgiveness factor. There's times when I wish I didn't have to always second guess my decisions. In that precise moment I enjoy what I do and then the guilt trip comes. There I go sitting in silence just over thinking shit. I hate the fact that I always follow through with whatever my heart desires. I miss,I love and most importantly I actually care. That's something that I wish was different. I wish I could turn my back on those who have turned their back to me but I don't because I wouldn't want them to get hurt.

To Be Continued

Crazy

All I can say is.....
I'm fucking with crazy, and crazy is something I'm enjoying.

You Wanna Be My Friend....

I have the biggest smile on my face right now !!!!!! I know for a fact that some people come into your life for different reasons. Some stay a long time. Some stay for a little bit. Some do good and some do bad. I'd like to think of myself as one of those that come into your life to stay and make you feel like together we could do anything. Today I received a friend request from a little boy who I hold very close to my heart. I am nothing to this child. I am not his mother. I am not his aunt. I am nothing to him but a woman who shared many years with his father and yet he requested me!(Facebook)It makes me feel extremely happy with what I have done in my lifetime. To make a difference in someone elses child. I had the privilege to see him in diapers still drinking from a bottle. To see him grow through out the years, not as much as I'd like too but just enough memories that hold special feelings within my heart. I was one of those step moms that understood that these kiddos(2 extra boys) were in my partners life before I came in it. Children are innocent. They should NEVER be held accountable for their parents mistakes. I was and am woman enough to accept and be willing to open up My heart to children that I didn't have. I was woman enough to say, yes they are my kids when being asked Are they all yours? I was woman enough to take the heartache of when my bonus babies weren't allowed to visit. I was woman enough, and because of my actions I still have 1out of 2 of my bonus babies. There aren't enough words to write down on how happy I am. I know I am nothing but the mom of your half brothers but I know you know that I love you guys as if you were mine.

It's Been A While

I found myself dreaming of you. I have to say that is has been a while since it happened last. I once again saw the face that at one point gave me peace.

I don't recall the place we were at but you were there with her. I walked by and you followed me into the bathroom. It was as if nothing had changed at all. The typical questions: how are you? How are the parents? Things of that sort. Then your girl walked in and asked you what were you doing. Funny thing is that you said I'm fixing this light. She walks out brings with her an older lady that I do not know. She says something that I could not hear, turns around and walks away. As she does this you follow but before you leave you kiss me and say "It's always been you." End of dream. I wake at 4:17am and I no longer am able to sleep. It leaves me thinking of you, again it's been awhile. With only the memories and dreams to remember you by. Until we meet again.

Just Remember

You reap what you sow. That's what they say. Karma can be a bitch. Everyday the world turns and for some it can turn out to be good for others bad. This may be your karma. You decided to spend my first born sons birthday with your mistress. I didn't even get to see him until 3 days later. This year you won't be able to spend the boys birthdays with them because they'll be with me. The only difference is that I don't have anyone who will be taking your place. It's sad that things didn't work out. You haven't grown up. You still haven't filled yourself with the temptations that the world has. I just want you to remember one thing. All these women want you because your name comes with a title. That title comes with money. What they don't know is the struggle WE had to endure while getting to the top. They weren't there to fill out every single application. They weren't there when you needed help to pass every drug test. They weren't there when you needed help completing every work order. They weren't they when you wanted and needed to pass your test to become the ac tech you are today. They weren't there waiting for you to be released from jail over and over again. They weren't there when your ex was being difficult. THEY WEREN'T THERE. I WAS. I was there for all of it. I was there when it was hard for us to even keep our utilities on. I always knew that you were worth the wait because I believed in you. I knew that no matter what life threw at us the end result would be great. Now that you have everything, it shows. That's why these women want you. They want the name and status you come with. No matter what you tell them about me, like all the times I left. The times I didn't do the things I was supposed to do. How I apparently cheated. How I lied. How I didn't clean. Just remember to tell them that because of ME  you are the man they see today. Because no matter how many other names you tattoo on your body my name will always remain above your heart because that's exactly where I belong. 12 years I gave you. And even that wasn't enough for you. I will always love you more than you'll ever know. And I truly want nothing but the best for you.

Smiling Faces

First day of school for the Ramos boys.

Truth Bomb

In Reality

So, I figured out who you are.
I don't have anything going on with your husband.
I never did and I wont.
I don't know what made you think that.
I received your voicemail and I wish there had been a number that I could have contacted you on to relieve your mind.

I knew him in middle/high school when he was friends with my brother.
It was interesting learning about my old classmates and the things that they had been up to. I've been reconnecting with them through facebook. But just as friends.

He didn't tell me he was married.
I was under the impression he was dating this girl named Mona.
He did ask me out. And I said we could hang out as friends but nothing more.
When I looked at his page, I saw that he was married.
I asked him about that. He said he wasn't. I asked why would he ask me out if he's dating someone and is married? He swore up and down that he wasn't dating anyone and that he wasn't married. I told him his fb page said he was married. He said no, you don't understand. I told him there was nothing to understand, I didn't want more than a friendship with him. When I checked his page again, it said he was in a civil union. I asked him why he would change that. He said he didn't. Those sound like lies to me.

The sitter he uses is a very good friend of mine. On Thursday, she accompanied my children and I to a dr's appt. Daniel and Josh came with us. Afterwards, we stopped at Chik-fil-A. While eating, the boys mentioned never having been to Chik-fil-A and how they liked the food. I told them they should mention it to their dad. They said they could tell their mom but maybe they wouldn't be able to come. They mentioned you two live together.

From there, I went to work. I messaged Daniel and told him that the kids told me mom was living in the house. That he shouldn't have lied about that. (I don't deal with married men. ESPECIALLY married men with children. I'm selfish. I want a relationship to be about me and MY kids. I don't want to be a step-mom. I can't date someone with kids because that's a package deal.)

Carol, from my point of view, it seems that you are dealing with a lot. I don't want to add to that. There's no reason for the unnecessary stress.

I informed Daniel that it seemed like there was a lot of work going into our FRIENDSHIP and he said that there was stuff I didn't understand. I told him there was nothing to understand. He was married and that was it.

After I blocked his number, he messaged me on fb saying he needed me to call him. I told him there was nothing to be said. He'd said what he thought was necessary. I relented and did call him. But the story didn't change. I told him there was nothing going on between us. And that there wouldn't be.

That's all there is to it. I don't want anything with your husband. Definitely not a relationship! I have aspirations and goals. Becoming involved with a married man, would definitely hinder me. I think I covered everything. IF I haven't, please message me and I'll answer anything with the best of my ability. I hope your mind is at ease.

favi.
Received August 10,2013 at 10:55 am

THE LOVELY MESSAGE I RECEIVED FROM THE 3 FEMALE(for better lack of words). I TRULY CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU DENIED BEING MARRIED TO ME. THE FIRST AND SECOND WOMEN I COULD DEAL WITH AND FORGIVE YOU BUT THIS I CAN NOT. I'VE NEVER BEEN ASHAMED TO SAY TO ANYONE THAT YOU WERE MY HUSBAND. EVERY TIME I READ THIS MESSAGE IT BRINGS ME SOME SORT OF FREEDOM KNOWING THAT MY CHILDREN AND I WILL BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU. THOUGH I KNOW IT WILL BE HARD BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL WE'VE EVER KNOWN. I KNOW WE WILL BE OKAY. I AM NOT BITTER TOWARDS YOU OR YOUR ACTIONS BUT I AM HURT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. I GAVE YOU MY HEART AND YOU RIPPED IT OUT AND STOMPED ON IT. I GAVE YOU ALL MY LOVE AND YOU WANTED NONE OF IT. I SAT THERE DAY BY DAY THINKING FINALLY EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE OKAY WHEN IN REALITY NOTHING HAD CHANGED.

Can't Wait

Holy mother of all this Jac Teller !!!! I am beyond excited about this. Come on September.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy0PJdweIxw&feature=youtube_gdata_player

In Need

Today is one of the days I wish you were next to me, to hear you say everything will be okay. Today I lost my uncle Agustin from Dallas. Not only has it been tough because he was a very good man to us growing up. I've seen my mom cry before but not like this. She has lost her big brother. I wanted for someone to tell me that he's in a better place now. Unfortunately this has to be one of those times when I have to be the strongest person in this house. This makes me think about how life is so damn short and anything and everything you have can be taken away from you at any time. It makes me appreciate my children a little more. It makes me say I love you a little louder. It makes me hug them a little tighter. My tears will be shed when everyone is asleep. My thoughts will be heard by the Lord.

8/14/2013

Everything Changes

Today was one of those days that would eventually turn into a do nothing mentality but I decided that I needed to do this not for myself but for the 4 boys that I finally have with me. I got my stuff together and hit the streets hard. I accomplished everything on my to do list. The things I thoughts I wasn't going to do, I did them. I looked at your picture today and asked my self why? Why didn't it work out? Why did I even think that what we had was much stronger than any outside intruder? One thing did come to mind right away. Even though I know my road will be rocky, I know that my boys will be holding my hands as we walk this path and we will be okay. I truly miss going to sleep next to you. I miss waking up to you and walking you out the door. I miss hearing the babies ask if daddys going to work. I miss that. What I don't miss is the lying. The women around you. The late hours you would come home. The smell of alcohol on you. I am actually at peace with what's going on. My main focus is on how I can show and teach these boys how to become great men. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for out there.

Carol 8/12/13

2 Options

Move On

What Hurts The Most

It hurts to know that I still love you. It hurts because I gave you everything I had. It hurts because even after me finding out about your lies, you still couldn't tell me the truth. It hurts because even after all these years 13 to be exact, I miss you when you're not around. It hurts because I have to look into my babies eyes and see the sadness they're experiencing. I gave you more than enough opportunities to save our marriage but most importantly our family. You didn't take those opportunities to fix what was wrong, you used them to continue doing your things your way. Even after all these lies,after all these women, I still love you. There is one thing that I do love more than you though... My 4 boys. I love myself as well and just enough to know that the way you were treating us was wrong. I understand now why people stay with their significant other for years after so much damage has been done. LOVE. They do it for love. I did it for love. For the love I still have for you. For the love of seeing our family together. For the love of being there for one another. For the love of watching our sons grow,laugh and play together. I did it because of Love. Though I'm extremely angry with you right now I know that it will pass. I know there will be a day that I'll be able to face you but right now I can't. I hope that one day you wake up and realize the things you did to us,the lies you said to us were wrong. I hope you don't end up alone and have all your kids hating you. I hope you don't have to live the life your dad is living but I think we both know that's exactly where you're heading. Goodbye My Love
You will always be the first man in my life. My first husband. My first ex-husband. My first everything.

Painful Tears

The pain you have caused me once again..... I will never forgive you for it. Your selfishness was greater than the joy our boy could have experienced. As these tears roll down my face on this Sunday afternoon which should have been the opposite, I thank you anyway for showing me your true colors. I know that my tears will one day be your tears,my pain will one day be your pain and all my feelings will one day be the exact thing that will wake you up and see all the damage you have caused.

The Hulk Says

You know what hurts the most, our incredible hulk is the one who is suffering the most. Last night (7-15) he asked me this"Mom if dad has an apartment why didn't we go live with him?Why are we at grandmas house?" So sad that I didn't even know how to respond to that. Then it happened,he started crying and proceeded to say this "Dad doesn't care about anyone". I will tell you this there will never be a day that I would ever talk bad about you to our children. That's not my style. If at any time our boys ever hold any resentment towards you it's because You hurt them. Boys need their fathers to show them how to one day become a great man. Maybe my hulk is right,maybe you don't care but its hurtful to know how a 6 year old came up with this theory. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for.

To Life,To Love & To You

You can't always get what you want in life. You either get it to early to and don't appreciate it or you get it too late and you still don't fully understand what you have in front of you. The worst part about pain is the unexpected kind,the kind that hits you right in your heart. Can two souls that are meant to find each other really live without each other? Peace & clarity are in tune with each other right now. I have peace,you need clarity. For if the two shall meet once again I know that the force that is driven within our souls will finally reach it's destiny. As painful as it may be,it will be okay. To love someone is the greatest gift you can give but to lose that someone is a pain that will live within you forever. For I now know what must be done. I will see you again old friend. I wish you a journey full of peace,full of clarity,full of excitement but most of all I wish you the very best. A love like this comes once in a lifetime. I will forever be grateful for the blessings you have given me. I will always be there to remind you that I once was one of your greatest joys in life. I will always have the pleasure to say that man over there.... He was my husband a long time ago. I will always love you and that's something that no one can take away from me. I'll see you later baby. Good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for.

Your Beloved 1st Wife,
Carol

Lost In Love

Broken promises, missed opportunities & painful heartache is what you have given me. Love doesn't conquer all because if it did then you would still be right next to me. I leave with nothing but memories of you hurting me, lying to me and even after everything has been said and done you still didn't love me enough to tell me the truth.  Goodbye Old Friend. 

Follow Your Heart

By all means do what your heart.tells you. Yes I left "The door open for another woman to walk in." like you both like to say. What I didn't think was that you were going to disrespect the fact that you were still a married man. You disrespected the vows we made on February 27. You think you have yourself a winner.... boy she has you fooled. A real woman who ends up knowing that the man she is attracted to is still married and has small children should have enough respect for herself to know that if one day she were to be in that position she wouldn't want another woman interfering in her marriage. A real woman would say if it's meant to be we'll be together someday and I will not be the cause of a family separation. A real woman would atleast have the decency to talk with the wife and explain her side if the story. A real woman would not bash on the wives mistakes. A real woman would simply wait to see how this "love" turns out. A real woman would never ever be the other woman. You know my only therapy is writing, I do it better than speaking itself. I do believe that everything happens for a reason and that no matter what happens with God and the power of prayer things can get better. I don't attend church. I don't read the Bible. I have committed a ton of sins but even I know that somethings are just plain wrong. I wanted my first marriage to be my only marriage. I didn't and still don't believe in divorce but you two have taught me that a whole different side of the human race. My heart goes with you even though my heart is probably just sitting in your junk drawer. You gave me something that I am eternally grateful for... My Children. You were my first everything. I wish you well with whatever new journey lies ahead. When it's all said and done,you'll think of me.

My Little Big Baby

10 years ago today(7-14-2003)I was blessed with a beautiful baby boy. There is no greater love than the bond between mother and her son. I am proud to say to anyone that boy over there ...yeah I made that !!!!!! I love you baby. I wish that I was there right now to hold you,kiss you,hug you but I'm not. This time your dad chose to walk away from our family. Your dad found his place while I had to find one. I miss you dearly baby boy. I'm a complete mess today. I'll keep my faith strong because I know soon enough I will have my 4 boys together again. Happy Birthday Son.
Mama loves you.

She's A Keeper

Sometimes..... I start to look at my pictures and say "Dayum That Girl Is Fine"

Porque Vas A Llorar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Wf73mRjKRg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Currently Reading

I've had this book for some time now and the only reason why I decided to go ahead and read it was to make comparisons with the movie. Which happens to be one of my favorites. I just love Pennywise The Clown !!! I like his style. Fool them with kindness type of deal... Right ?? I've been neglecting my passion for reading and now I'm gonna start all over again reviewing books.

And Then There Was Three

You know as much time and effort I put into trashing you to the entire world wide Web I have to say damn sweetie what part of all of this don't you understand? This will Not stop. IT can if you were to respect the fact that he's married but you don't so in that case I going to keep doing this. It's my personal blog any way.

She's A Homewrecker

Busy Little Bee

You know for acting all high and mighty you're still just a simple bitch. What I do with my free time has Nothing to do with you. I am a stay at home mom. I do manage to wake up to cook breakfast for my children. I do manage to cook lunch and dinner for everyone in this household. I also have time to clean atleast 2/3 times each day everyday. I also have time to browse facebook,twitter and all that the internet offers. So tell me again how a "busy" working woman with a job from 8-5 with 2 daughters has time from her schedule to search for and read my blog!?!?!? What is it about my blog that's so intriguing? Is it that I'm putting your business out there for everyone to read? Sweetie go back to your "busy" lifestyle and stop looking into mine. Oh by the way you'll love these.....

Doing Your Dirty Work

So now you have your "sister" calling me to talk shit on how I'm putting your shit on blast.... Well if you aren't woman enough to call me yourself to tell me to stop then that's your problem. Again I will continue to do this, oh and on your news flash to me...... Go ahead darling keep doing you. Congrats on being a fantastic whore of a woman and mother. What a great example your teaching your daughters.

I Don't Get It

How are you okay with being the other woman? What makes you think that what you're doing is okay? You're destroying a family of 6. Not only are you allowing this cycle to be part of your daughters life in their future. My children know this is going on and those 4 kids are the ones you're hurting Mona. Im an adult and I told you via text that I can be civil all I needed was some time to work/fix my marriage. You didn't respect that wish so from that moment you decided to continue looking and contacting my husband I decided that I will show you the meaning of a cold hearted bitch. I will continue to post your photos on the Web, I will continue to let strangers know that you're a woman who keeps contacting a married man, I will continue to call you names, I will make you regret the say I came into your life. You may have fooled everyone else but not me sweetie.

DownGrade Effect

Fits well with you.

Diary Of A Whore in pictures

You still think your winning sweetie, but your not. Pictures of this home wrecking whore.

Diary of a Whore

Im going to keep putting you on blast sweetie.

Mona Lisa Hernandez 10-14

This following post is for the WHORE who keeps messaging my husband, the whore who sends a married man pictures of her daughters. This one is dedicated to you sweetie. You try to play innocent but you don't fool me.

Read & Tell

Hello out there...... You guys and gals I'm warning you that my next post will consist of the picture of the WHORE who is still fucking around with a married man who has since returned with his wife and kids. I will also include a picture of her daughters that she keeps sending to a man who is no one to these said kids. I told you from the beginning I can be civil with you but since you're not understanding what that means.. I'll show you how fucking dirty I play!!! NEVER underestimate the power behind my words. Go ahead tell him since you're making a habit of telling him everything I say to you.

Soon Enough

You know with everyone else you can play the innocent bitch but not with me.I saw it the very first time I saw your ugly face.I am the one person who can always see through bullshit it just depends if Im willing to put up with it or not.I can very well put you on blast and please believe when I say baby girl your pushing my buttons.Then I think with my stupid piece of shit kind heart that I have and say to myself"I wouldnt want my picture all over the web in a compromising pose" but then again Im not and will not ever be the OTHER WOMAN to a married man.That right there is the difference between your skank ass and my semi decent ass.Though I know exactly where this is going,Im aware that thinking that the right thing to do was trying to fix my wrongs and my family/marriage Ive come to a sudden stop because Im the only one in my partnership trying to fix it.I know that you BOTH sit and laugh at me but when you laugh to early youll only end up crying ten times worse.I still havent even came close to showing you what I can do but soon enough...soon enough.

Bam!!! Real Talk

Drifting Words

Faded Pictures

Faded Memories ......

Not Bad For A Monday

Fuck It, today was my pretty day.

That's Probably Right

Sudden Changes

Funny how my attitude changes as soon as I look through different images of you. I go from smiling ear to ear, then it all goes away. Everything changes so quickly and so suddenly that I'm stuck with the realization of what it is and what it was.

Many Times

Confused

Truth In Life

Twisted Memories

At one point in my life I can honestly say that it hurted me to see it but now I just laugh. Maybe I'm still mad but hurt is something I don't feel anymore. I won't lie I still think about the times we shared but just like everything else in life.... You can not change the past. That's why they're called memories. Thank You for the ones you left behind with me.

Live & Learn

Constant Battle

Today 2/27

Today is one of the most difficult of days that I've yet to endure. Today is the day I got married. This is for you....
To My Husband,
If there ever comes a day when you wake up and no longer love me, please let me be the first to know this. I've loved you like I've never loved before. The first man to show me so many different things,so many memories and most importantly the man that I created children with. For I know that we are far from perfect, but our love is true. When I said I do, I said it with love knowing that I would share the rest of my life with you. Life has a funny way of testing everyone in its own way and I believe that we have passed many tests before. The test we're taking now, I didn't study for it. I dont want to fail but if by failing this test will I be prepared for the next one? I hope that the future tests I have to take involve you but I'd truly understand if they don't. I know that I've caused a lot of pain to both you and I but I'm willing to make up for it. I wish that today would just stay in place for some time but it can't. There isn't enough money in the world to buy me what I want the most. I'm sorry.
Your Wife.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Go Get It

Strength

Right Now