Sunday, October 31, 2010

Sometimes I hate ya'll

Right when I think things are gonna be okay something else hits the fan,why oh why must ya'll love to give me shit about everything that I do!?!?!?!?I dont blame ANYONE for any mistakes that I have made in my 25 years of life.I do not judge any mistakes yall have made because hunny theres alot,all I have ever wanted to for shit to be okay,no drama,no nothing!!but as usual any little thing triggers my almost going okay day!I have never said anything to anyone of the things we've done and just as a I start to think that I can start talking to my own fucking family and star trusting in you,this shit happens.WHY?????? when I fucking need yall the most I cant even talk to you,I have to talk to someone who knows nothing about my background and the shit Ive been though and believe it or not that person's words are very comforting and then I realise how I had a family member that I could talk too just like that!!!! but I dont fucking have that!!!!!I have a mother who says that Im her enemy,a sister who should have my back no matter what but she rather tell our mother of the shit that I apparently say about her,BITCH read though the lines!!!!3 brothers that I dont see or talk too just like when we were smaller!!!You bitches have me crying...........I wish that I didnt have this big ass heart that cares about everyone even when they hurt me!!so that i can just not give a fuck but damn it i do and thats what makes me cry,that i care about the shit you do to me!!!!I wish i could trust,i wish i had that support system from you.It hurts me so much to think that my own family does things to me that hurt me this way.I wish things didnt have to be this way but they are and to both my SISTER AND MOTHER....I wish you the best of luck but forget about me cause if all you do is bring me to tears I dont need you!!!!!!!!!!

If I didnt makes no sense....fuck you its what im feeling right now!!!!!!!!!!!

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